Welcome to Terrible Dragon Reviews, where we watch the worst dragon movies on the market so you don't have to! We watch all of those terrible B-rank movies that you scroll past wondering to yourself "Is that even worth the watch?" and then review it so you can know if you are missing anything great, or dodged the proverbial bullet!
Dragon Fury (2021)
I sat down the other night and thought to myself, why can't I find any decent dragon movies? Sure there are the films like How to Train your Dragon or even the shows like GOT House of the Dragon but where are the new and exciting stories that are really showcasing our best sides?
That was when I decided to turn on my tv, search dragon, and see what came up. Dragon Fury actually came up pretty quickly in my search. This film is the brainchild of one Scott Chambers and one Rhys Frake-Waterfield, produced in 2021. The synopsis told of experts being sent into a forsaken no mans land that the government had set up in the mountains in search of dangerous creatures. And judging from the cover art for the film, I thought it might make for an interesting watch.
(image copyright: Jagged Edge Productions)
That cover looks alright, like there could be something going on there. Right? Right??
WRONG!
As with far too many B movies these days, that cover is a complete lie. Neither that dragon design, nor those people pictured are in the film. In fact no one even remotely looking like them is in the film.
Instead, the film opens up on two "Bloggers" who have set out to blow open this conspiracy about a secret government nuclear facility that had a meltdown several years before that the public never knew about even though this area has supposedly been a radioactive dead-zone for decades. With music reminiscent of those really bad horror films of the early 2000s playing out of place the whole time, the two are quickly set upon by what I can only describe as the tormented love child of a night of drunken hate fueled passion between Gollum and Smaug.
"Come now Tess, it can't really be that bad right?" you might say.
(copyright: Jagged Edge Productions)
Believe me now? What even is that Gargoyles reject? I could not even find the image that I really wanted to show you of the things funky tail that splits at the end for some reason and looks like some kind of a stinger slash foot thing.
The graphics used are laughable at best, definitely not something you would expect to see in a film that made it to streaming in the 2020s. The fire it breaths looks like something from the old Playstation 2 days of gaming.
Shortly after we are introduced to the main character of the film, Ness, a woman you would expect to find in a library or a coffee shop enjoying a warm cup of tea and a Jane Eyre novel, but is instead supposed to be the leader of an elite squad of highly trained military operatives. Ness is asked to lead her team to this desolate mountain range to hunt down this creature by a young man who is supposed to be her Captain or handler or something. Honestly I couldn't get over how terrible his acting and his weird hipster clothes were.
Ness and her team of super soldier soccer moms, of which there are are a total of three including Ness, show up to bore us to death with creeping music that does not match the scenes nor add brevity to them. As you can see in the image above, one of them is walking on crutches, yet they felt the need to bring her to hunt this super dangerous monster. None of them have weapons until about halfway through the film and then it turns out it is a water gun that has the trigger removed and a black cap over the barrel, and I have to say, their utter lack of training in the carrying or use of firearms made me want to cry.
After many unexciting twists and turns that happen at the speed of a yawn, the dragon manages to kill its way into your heart by somehow being both the villain and the hero of the story. Cliche government super weapon tropes and the main character driving off into the sunset as swarms of dragons fly after her and you have a steaming pile of movie.
This movie is a slow burn ride through bland scenery that takes place in mostly the same two places. A random cottage in the mountains, and one little ravine. The dialogue is forced and the suspension of belief is honestly too much for me to enjoy. I can forgive the bad acting, none of these people are really known and given the terrible plot they had to work with, what could they do. What I cannot forgive is this weird mutated gargoyle being dubbed a dragon. It got jumped by life and life was not gentle.
So what would I rate Dragon Fury?
Plot: 3/10 🔥
Is the plot terrible, yes, but not irredeemable. Had they used convincing actors and props for this and tuned the dialogue better then it might even have been passable. As it stands, it was boring and meandering.
Characters: 1/10 🔥
The characters were bad, the acting was bad, there was no believable development or backstories for any of them. When you start cheering because a character dies, and it is not because they deserved it for plot reasons, then they are a pretty awful character.
Music: -5/10 🔥
The music was terrible. It was not put into the film in a consistent quality. It did not fit the scenes at all. It in effect was of no benefit to the film and actually worked to its detriment.
Visuals: -1/10 🔥
The visuals were so terrible. In a world where people are using blender to make free to watch youtube videos of mind blowing quality out of their basements in their spare time, there is no excuse for a film to release with graphics that make the Nintendo 64 look high definition.
Overall 0/10 🔥
I would not recommend Dragon Fury. It is just another in an ever mounting stack of terrible dragon films that people keep barfing out every few years. Dragon Fury is a reminder that not all stories are great and not all movies should be made. The fact that it has not one, not two, but three sequels is disturbing to me. There are far better examples of dragon related films out there that have been squashed for underperforming and who deserved sequels. I know I am not the only one hoping to see Themberchaud return!
What movie do you think we should review next? Put your suggestion in the comments below and we will pick one at random to review in our next publication!
We hope you have enjoyed this review and we thank you for your continuing readership!
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